


If It’s Not Me, Who Would It Be?

by Lovelyj



Series: Still & Me [5]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character portrayal is still based on STILL, Confession, Honesty, Jealousy, Lots of canon and SungPil reference, M/M, Sungjin is mentioned and I’m sorry to him, Trust, Yubin from Wonder Girls too is mentioned, deep in love, fluff at the end, possessive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 11:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21207464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyj/pseuds/Lovelyj
Summary: Wonpil’s childhood friends wants to have a small reunion and Jae thought it’s fine but maybe he was wrong.





	If It’s Not Me, Who Would It Be?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeonpil = Pencil; Wonpil’s high school nickname  
Jaedong - Jae’s dog

During the "What Can I Do, I Loved You and When You Love Someone" era or what is popularly called 'the trilogy' among the fans, aside from discovering Sungjin's acting skills, Wonpil has become the most interesting character of those music videos. The way he looked at Sungjin has become a hot topic and no matter how he try to explain that he is just a friend feeling sad about his best friend, no one ever believes it, even Jae, who also expressed the same sentiments with the fans.

Little did we know that despite of Jae's teasing to Wonpil and Sungjin on their live party broadcasts, even if Sungjin is talking and acting like what Wonpil was doing doesn't really matter because that's how normal he is in the kind of friendship they have. But behind all those teasing, for Jae, it was his method to ask Wonpil if there was really no meaning in the way he looks at Sungjin and even if Sungjin looks straight and not interested, still, what's the chance of not falling for Wonpil? When Wonpil has it all (except that he can really be weirdly scary and annoying sometimes but you should know what I mean -_-).

If only he doesn't visit Twitter too often, he probably wouldn't think of the music videos in depth like how wild the imagination of the fans are but even if it isn't talk of the town, whoever would look at the video will definitely say that there is something with the way Wonpil stares at Sungjin.

Though he doesn’t understand the bitterness inside him. The frustrating and uncomfortable emotion. The unbearable curiosity every time his eyes finds Wonpil and how he gets upset when he sees Sungjin and Wonpil together, all he can do is be at a side, like a second lead who will never get a chance to express his feelings because he is a coward who is afraid to be rejected, to be abandoned but maybe if he does confess, nothing will change, Wonpil likes Sungjin. He is certain.

Those were really one of the saddest memories of his unrequited love and one of the triggers why he kissed Wonpil that night without thinking, when he usually is logical and afraid to take risks.

Right now, he shouldn’t be feeling insecure anymore because he knows for a fact that Wonpil loves him like he does and he chose him even if the world may go against this relationship but in the situation he has right now, he can’t just help getting that uncomfortable and upsetting feeling again.

He doesn’t doubt Wonpil but he thought if someone else who is better and cooler than him comes to his life, will his love change?

This situation reminds him of those times when Sungjin asked Wonpil about why he is so touchy and Wonpil replied with “Skinship is common in our neighborhood” that the members just can’t process in their mind. Imagine a group of people that are all like Wonpil, the members will be traumatized for sure especially Jae and Sungjin and that’s just seems so impossible therefore no one really believed Wonpil until this situation today came.

It was a week ago when Wonpil asked for Jae’s permission to let his friends from Incheon who were also his classmates since they were elementary to middle school, to let them visit him just for a day in their flat. Wonpil was a bit timid to ask such favor at that time as he doesn’t want Jae to be uncomfortable but Jae also understands that he didn’t met his friends for almost a year now as they are always busy. It can also help Wonpil rest his mind but Jae is now wondering if his decision was right.

Jae is standing in front of the long length mirror in their bedroom, all prepared to leave their apartment so he doesn’t disturb the group of friends once they arrive but it happens to be also the perfect time for Wonpil’s friends to arrive.

Wonpil quickly runs to the door, quite surprised that his friends arrived too early on the said scheduled plan.

His smile widen when the expected guests are in front of him. There are at least seven of them also bringing food for their small reunion. He hugs all of them and the loud greetings, reached their room that made Jae‘s lip lifts up upon hearing the excitement of Wonpil’s voice.

Jae had his final check at the mirror to see how his casual clothes look before he came out of the room to greet the guests as well before he leaves for his plans today.

Jae walks out of the room with a smile on his face as he sees the seven guys walking inside their apartment but that smile immediately drops when he notice the way one of Wonpil’s friend hold Wonpil‘s small waist as if he owns him but there’s Wonpil wrapping his arms to the other as well in which he doesn’t really like.

That should be normal, right?

But Jae is feeling uncomfortable with the sight. Jae only came back to his senses when Wonpil calls his name with that signature sunshine smile he has to greet the seven guys in front of him. And so Jae slightly bows down right away as they do the same as well with a bright smile on their face.

“Are you going somewhere?” The guy with a brown hair asks Jae.

“Ah, yes. I have to go somewhere today”

“Oh really? But we bought food for you too” The guy with black hair said.

“Please eat with us before you go. I bet you haven’t eaten yet. Right?” The guy who is still holding Wonpil by the waist said. And Jae found that really annoying that his eyes became glued to the hands that suddenly squished Wonpil’s waist before Wonpil speaks up.

“Right hyung.. don’t leave with an empty stomach. Sit with us for a second”

Jae curses inside his head. Did he just squished Wonpil’s waist to signal him to say something?!!

That angers Jae more and more that those two can understand each other without words and just some skinship, the type that no one should dare to do but him.

He might just be over exaggerating right now. Jinyoung and Jackson are also like that with Wonpil. Young K sometimes holds Wonpil in the waist too and a lot more with Dowoon. They even sleep on the same bed sometimes and Jae doesn’t care at all. Because that’s normal to Wonpil so just like those days, this shouldn’t mean anything, right? It’s supposed to be normal, right? Because that’s how it is in their neighborhood as what Wonpil said but.. if it is like that, how come this guy is the only one who clings so much to Wonpil and the others doesn’t seemed to be into skinship as what Wonpil claims it to be?

He really wants to erase the thought that maybe this guy have? had? some thing with Wonpil but how can he when the smug on his face who he knows the name by now. Oh Ji Hoon. Who is sitting beside his boyfriend too closely, who is laughing and giggling too much that doesn’t seem to know what’s space while he is sitting on the left side with so much distance as if he is the stranger who isn’t supposed to be invited in his own table.

Jae thought he should’ve just declined the offer earlier and left so he doesn’t see this sight that he’ll feel uncomfortable with when it’s useless to think too much but at the same time, now that he is sitting with them, he doesn’t want to leave either. He feel like this Oh Jihoon guy isn’t just here for some reunion. He don’t really know why he is getting a negative vibe with that friend when Wonpil is clearly just being himself right now.

“Wait, wait. Don’t give our hyungie that. He is really allergic you know. We need to be careful. Let me inspect them first”

“Awww.. Our Yeonpiri~ is really caring. I miss our high school days. Wonpil used to care so much about us”

“What the.. stop flattering me, I won’t fall for it” Wonpil chuckles as he pick which food Jae can only eat and Jae does appreciate his actions but his own emotions are making him awkward and annoyed. His understanding is too clouded by his weird and bitter emotions.

“Wonpil-ah, it’s okay. I can do it myself”

“But..” Wonpil looks to Jae, a bit disappointed that he wants to do it himself. Wonpil usually likes taking care of Jae so being stopped in the middle of doing what he wants to do makes him feel unwanted.

“I’m not a kid Wonpil. Just talk to your friends” Though it was in small voice and probably wasn’t heard by his friends as they were all busy catching up as well, Wonpil could hear the tone of coldness and annoyance on Jae’s voice as he notice his brows twitch into a wrinkle but he is forcing not to.

Wonpil’s smile slowly fell as he look to Jae that he hopes Jae understands but maybe he didn’t.

“I’m really sorry guys but I don’t want to be late. I’ll just eat out. Thanks for the food. I’ll go”

And Jae walks out of the apartment without even looking at Wonpil for once. Without saying a proper goodbye.

He’s only hanging out with Bernard hyung today, what’s there to rush?

Jae arrives at the apartment late at night with seeing Wonpil clean up the trash and bottles of soju scattered on the floor. Jae quickly drops his bag to help Wonpil finish up.

“How was it?”

“Well.. it’s okay. It’s fun..” Wonpil replies shortly, moving the trash he gathered to a plastic.

Jae wonders what happened to Wonpil today when he usually talk a lot when he is happy and he thought he was, so there shouldn’t be a reason for him to be down.

“Did you drink?”

“A bit”

“You must be sleepy, leave it there. I’ll do—“

“It’s okay, I’m not a kid” Wonpil cuts off Jae as he take the trash on Jae’s hands, putting them on the same plastic.

“Where are you going?”

“Trash..”

“What’s wrong—“ And Jae got cut off again, not because of Wonpil this time but the ring on Wonpil’s phone.

“Oh, Jihoon-ah. Did you got home safely?” Wonpil says after picking up the phone and Jae didn’t say anything more as Wonpil walks out of the door. He picks up his bag with a frown on his face and walks to their room, feeling weirded with his emotions again just by hearing that person’s name.

It’s late but neither of them can sleep. Their back faces each other but their minds are on the same pace. Wondering what seemed to be wrong today. Thinking why they both aren’t in a mood. They both want to ask but their pride keeps them from asking their true curiosity because they both don’t want to be caught. They don’t want each other to know that they are affected with each others mood. They just want to pretend that everything is alright even if they aren’t.

“Wonpil-ah.. are you awake?” Wonpil hesitates to respond for a few seconds and Jae doesn’t want to check on Wonpil either so he just thought he must be really asleep.

“Hmm.. why?” Wonpil finally responds and Jae thought he had something to say but now that Wonpil has responded, it seems like there is nothing to say.

“Nothing.. I was just wondering”

Wonpil’s expectation drops to the response. He regrets asking why when Jae won’t say anything anyway. He just want to sleep now to forget this empty feeling inside him but how can he? When he keeps thinking about the person beside him who is lying too far, too distant with his back facing him. And that felt like they are miles away.

“Wonpil-ah.. why do you think Sungjin’s eyes look pretty?” Wonpil‘s caught off guard with the question. So random and out of nowhere. He isn’t sure if Jae is just joking or seriously asking him that even in this uncomfortable situation.

“Stop asking weird questions hyung and sleep” Wonpil shuts his eyes off and wish he can sleep now instead of answering strange questions that he can’t answer in this kind of situation.

Jae faces Wonpil’s side but all he could see is Wonpil’s back facing him.

“Right? Sorry. Good night” Jae then went back to his original position, closing his eyes until sleep came to him.

“Jihoon-ah, why are you calling?” Is what Jae first heard the moment he open his eyes. He is really starting to hate that name.

Jae grabs his phone to check the time and it’s just six in the morning.

Why is he calling so early?

“No, what are you saying? I’m okay, of course.. we don’t really—“

Wonpil keeps talking to the phone the whole time, laughing as he walks around doing his usual morning routine and Jae tried to listen to every single conversation though he couldn’t hear everything because Wonpil keeps moving around the house.

Wonpil then went back to the room to check on Jae if he is still asleep or not but he can see Jae scrolling on his phone.

“Hyung, let’s eat?” Wonpil brightly asks. Still holding on to his phone. Probably still not done talking to that Jihoon. Jae really hates everything right now. Wonpil looks so mad at him last night for no reason and now he seems okay after talking to that guy and that makes him lose his appetite.

“I don’t want to. Maybe later..” Jae then closes his phone and tried to go back to sleep.

“Why?”

“Just.. sleepy”

Wonpil stares at Jae for a second, rubbing his thumb to his finger as he hold on to his own clothes. He doesn’t really like the tone of how Jae responds at him. Jae used to be like this before they got to relationship but that was okay because he doesn’t have expectations, he doesn’t own him but now, it feels so strange to be treated this cold. As if he is talking to a stranger.

“Okay.. then, do you..” Wonpil hesitates for a second wether to continue what he wants to say “....never mind”

“Wonpil-ah, I’ll be at Bernard later”

“Me too, I’m going somewhere later”

“Where?”

“I’m going to meet Jihoonie.. he wants to treat me”

“Don’t!”

“Hyung, I’m informing you, not asking for your permission.” Wonpil turns his back and Jae’s stun at the response. He couldn’t react at all. Wonpil usually—no. He never talks like that. Usually, there will always be a ‘why’ in every objection but right now, he thought Wonpil seems to be ignoring him. And that really hurt Jae.

Wonpil takes his phone out as he walk to the kitchen to send a message to Jihoon.

I changed my mind, I’m going. Send me the address..

“Why do you want to play today?

“I just want to unwind” Jae says as he pass the ball to Bernard who he have been waiting for at a basketball court they frequent.

“I told you, I’m too lazy to play today. Can’t we just enjoy our break and eat instead?”

“You’re no fun”

“I’m not a clown” Jae hisses at the remark.

“I know you Jae.. if you have problems let’s talk about it instead. It’s not like we’re strangers” Bernard passes the ball back to Jae as he walks away from the court. Jae pursuit and leaves the ball back to where he got it from.

Bernard took him on a restaurant that sells lobster.

“This is a newly opened restaurant. Let’s see if they make a delicious lobster”

“Why are you so considerate?”

“You don’t look so good. What do you think a good friend should do? Come on, tell me your problem and I shall advice you”

Jae hisses at the remark again. He realized that he must be that obvious to the point that Bernard has to care about his well-being.

“It’s just.. ugh! Forget it. I don’t know how to talk about it”

“Why? Is the problem too big? Did you cause trouble at the company?”

“No, what are you saying..”

“Woman?”

“Why would you think it’s about a woman?”

Jae curses for the nth time in his head. He doesn’t really know how to explain his situation when Bernard doesn’t even know about his little secret.

“Oh really? Why is your reaction too big? It must be really about a girl. Tell me, is she pretty?”

“Shut up. I told you it’s not..” Jae’s eyes shifted from left to right without doing an eye contact with Bernard before he continued “It’s about my dog”

“Dog? Jaedongie? You‘re stressed over Jaedongie?”

“No, it’s just.. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. He keeps avoiding me. He’s barking at me!”

Bernard blinks once or twice, scratching his un-itchy head. Not so sure what to advise with this but Jae sure looks sad that his dog doesn’t like him anymore. He didn’t know Jae likes Jaedong that much plus he is allergic to animals, it just doesn’t make any sense but Jaedong is considered a family too so okay, he’ll just accept that thought to make sense out of it.

“He probably thought you’re a loser and found a more fun person to play with”

“Wow, so helpful. Thanks” Jae sarcastically said as he rolls his eyes but in another thought what if it’s true?

What if Wonpil found Jihoon a more fun and better person than me? What if Jihoon is making a move at him and that’s why he is avoiding me now?

“Then.. what should I do?” Jae seriously asked, surprising Bernard.

“Bro, are you serious? If this is about a girl, it would’ve been easier to answer your question.”

Jae sighs to the response. Of course, how can he give an advise over an issue about a dog?

And Bernard looks at him with pity.

“Bro, give him lots of affection to win him over, like how you used to. Once he remember how much you adore him, he’ll be back to you. Dogs are really loyal to their master, y’know.. so don’t worry about it. By the way, who is the person he likes to play with now?”

Jae froze at the question for a second, finding the best candidate in his situation.

“Uhmm.. Sung—Sungjin?”

“What? Sungjin? Sungjin went to your house (Jae’s parent’s house) just to play with a dog? I thought he hates skinships. I guess he’s fine with animals.”

Bernard became silent for a second and Jae continues with his food until he heard Bernard chuckle for no reason. Jae looks at Bernard weirdly and Bernard shakes his head as he force himself not to laugh so loudly.

“No.. haha.. I just thought.. pffftt.. Jaedong must’ve fell for Sungjin’s pretty eyes and that’s why he left you. I didn’t know Sungjin’s that irresistible. I guess that’s why you’re too jealous”

Bernard laughs at his wild imagination again and Jae gives him an unamused look, losing his appetite once again.

“I still don’t know why we’re friends”

“Why don’t you just give up? Sungjin as an enemy.. that’s quite challenging”

“Just shut up, I’m gonna win him over!“

Jae glares at him and instead of feeling intimidated, it makes Bernard think that Jae looks so childish right now.

“You sound so possessive and jealous over a dog.. people will think someone stole your girlfriend”

“Possessive? Je-jealous?“

Bernard nods.

“You are over exaggerating right now. Can’t you see it? Are you that lonely Jae?”

“I’m not. I want to go home.“ Jae attempts to stand up but Bernard holds him back right away..

“Wait, wait..”

Since Bernard is already pulling him to his seat, he didn’t have a choice but to sit back. Bernard clears his throat before he speaks.

“Fine, let’s just say that you have some things you can’t tell me. I’m not gonna ask you about it but you are jealous bro, okay? If you don’t want to lose your dog then give him lots of affection or he’ll run to someone who can. But again, I told you, dogs are loyal. Do you really think he had his heart change? I don’t think so.. he’s just looking for someone to play with because you’re not home often”

“But.. I’m always home..”

“Then maybe he doesn’t feel your presence at all. Think back of what you did before you became so distant”

“Okay.. I’ll think about it. Thanks”

Bernard shakes his head as he wonder how important Jaedong is for Jae that he is too serious about it.

Later that night Jae waits for Wonpil outside their apartment building. He sits somewhere not so noticeable from the people outside.

He wants to call or at least text but reminding himself of how they were last night, he doesn’t have the courage to do so. It’s 10:30 in the evening and he’s been outside for two hours already. Still, there’s no sight of Wonpil.

Jae has thought over and over what happened before they became so distant and he can only think of that Jihoon guy. Still he couldn’t think of where it started, all he knows is that Wonpil has been ignoring him after that little reunion of theirs and now he is late.

Did he really have a change of heart?

11:37pm, that’s when Jae finally saw Wonpil coming back but in someone’s car.. and it’s that’s Jihoon’s car. If only he could, he would really want to confront that guy and tell him to keep his distance but at the same time he knows he can’t. He shouldn’t. Because that’s just how their relationship is.

And for the first time, he feels suffocated at their situation.

For the first time, he feels so helpless. That he can’t even tell anyone to not touch what he owns.

And he realized that he is being jealous right now. Bernard was right all along, he just can’t accept it because of his pride, like a fool.

Jae walks forward to the car to get Wonpil who seems so happy, smiling brightly like a sunshine.

“Oh, hello..” Jihoon greets Jae with a slight bow and Jae does the same without a word.

Jae didn’t take his eyes away at Wonpil and noticed a pink blush on his cheek and realizes that Wonpil is actually drunk and that’s why he is smiling so brightly.

“I’m glad you’re here, I was worried how I can send him up to your apartment. Do you want me to..”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll take it from here. Thanks” Jae said a little bit cold, that Jihoon noticed right away and it made him feel a bit awkward. But still he tried to shrug it off, maybe its just celebrity disease (?).

Jae then opens the door and takes Wonpil out of the car. Holding him by the waist and wrapping Wonpil’s arms to his shoulders for support.

“Ah sure.. by the way, Jaehyung-ssi he seemed so upset. He doesn’t want to talk about it so maybe you can talk to him. You guys seems to be very close”

“Okay, I’ll talk to him” Jae says in the same manner as he looks at the drunk Wonpil who is leaning so closely in his chest.

When Jihoon drives away, Jae tried to wake Wonpil up.

“Wonpil.. Pil-ah.. can you stand properly? Should I carry you?” Wonpil just makes any little noises, like he doesn’t want to disturb in his sleep but then he opened his eyes because he is too curious to see the familiar voice, because he wants to know if what he is hearing is real.

“Hyungie? Jaaaaeee~hyung hyung?”

“It’s me. I’ll carry you. You seem so out. How much did you drink?” Jae asks as he try to sit up and give a piggyback ride to the younger.

Wonpil then pouts as he wrap his arms on Jae’s neck and walks to the building.

“Oh, you are talking to me again..”

“What are you saying?” Jae then presses the elevator button. Wonpil shakes his head.

“None.. I.. thought you hated me for some reason and you don’t want to talk to me anymore. That’s why, I drank sooo much today so I could talk to you because if I didn’t, I will be too scared to ask you“ Wonpil is still pouting, sounding like a very upset kid who is confessing his mistakes even if he is too afraid to be yelled by his parents for going against their rules and that made Jae feels so guilty because his pride went ahead of him and now Wonpil is upset because of him.

“What do you want to know? I’ll tell you everything..”

“Everything? Really?”

“Hmm.. everything..”

“Really?”

“Hmm.. Really” The elevator door opens and Jae walks to open their apartment door.

“Hyung..” Wonpil starts to sob as he call his name repeatedly. Jae then sits him on the kitchen (with difficulty as Wonpil doesn’t want to let him go) to get some water.

Jae places the cup on the dining table close to Wonpil and pulls another chair to sit on so he could wipe Wonpil’s tears away.

“I’m here.. don’t cry..” Jae coos and Wonpil grabs the lining of Jae’s shirt to a fist as he look down.

“Hyung.. you said you love me.. that was still valid right?”

“Of course.. that will never change” Jae cups Wonpil’s small face into his hand, wiping the tears to his thumb.

“Last night.. I got too sensitive that’s why I got a little.. a little bi~t mad. I’m sorry.. please don’t hate me”

“Shh.. don’t say that.. Why would I hate you? I can never hate you..”

“Hyung.. you can’t break up with me.. okay?” Wonpil bursts into tears once again, making the tears Jae was trying not to come out spill in his own eyes.

“Hey, Pil-ah.. I won’t. Never. Don’t say that. Listen to me.. are you listening to me?” Jae asks the sobbing Wonpil and Wonpil tries to stop his tears so he can speak up.

“I am.. I am listening” Wonpil looks at Jae with pain and fear drawn in his eyes and that really pierced Jae’s heart. In the end, they still have this fear deep down but are just afraid to talk about it. Jae looks at Wonpil with all sincerity, hoping his heart reaches him.

“I, Park Jaehyung, will never.. ever break up with my Kim Wonpil. I will never do that. You are my most precious possession. I love you so much.. I can never let you go and I will never let you go even if you ask me. Do you understand that?”

Wonpil nods and drown his eyes into Jae’s words. Trusting all of it. Jae has told him this for so many times yet he still don’t get why he is so doubtful. Is it because of the society? Is it because he can’t call Jae his? Is it because he thinks if someone else who is nicer and better than him, Jae’s heart could change so easily?

If it’s not me, will you be able to love someone else more than me?

Wonpil then became too drowsy from being drunk, including the tiredness of crying and with that, Jae carries Wonpil in a bridal style to their room. Changing his clothes and wiping his skin with clean towel.

Wonpil wakes up the next morning from the scent clinging to his nose and sees himself on Jae’s arms with his head on his chest. He noticed that he is now wearing one of Jae’s favorite jacket. Wonpil thinks of how he got home last night when his memory was only at the part where he and the rest of his friends were talking and drinking on a beer restaurant.

“Are you awake now?” Wonpil’s thoughts disappeared at the sweet voice of his boyfriend, the one that he longed for the two days they couldn’t talk. He then looks up and realizes what really happened last night. He feels embarrassed now that he is not the drunk anymore. He don’t know what to say now that he is very conscious. He doesn’t want to ask anything or answer any questions. At least, for now but he knows he can’t avoid all of them.

Wonpil hums and that made Jae’s lips curl into a smile.

“You remember what happened last night, right?”

Wonpil hesitates for a second but he hums anyway. He hugged Jae tighter and buried his face in Jae’s chest as if it will also cover the embarrassment of what he said last night. Jae does the same, sending light kisses to the younger’s head and that made Wonpil feel better for some reason. It made his heavy heart lighter.

“I’m glad you remember” Wonpil looks up once again to Jae after hearing the remark.

“Why? Are you worried I’d say no?”

“Maybe? You slept on me last night after saying everything you want. I can’t believe you were really drunk”

“I know.. and I said so many things that might’ve burdened you”

“No, you’re not. I’m—“

“Hyung, can you just pretend that you didn’t me hear last night?”

“Why?”

“You know.. I was too drunk and upset but I shouldn’t have told you that. I don’t want to influence your future decisions or feel guilty about me. I don’t want you to feel so responsible just because you’re dating me”

“Are you saying, you don’t mean what you said last night?”

“I—“ Wonpil got himself cut off with the ring of his phone.

“I’ll have to pick it up”

Wonpil sits up and grabs his phone at the top of the drawer beside their bed.

“Who is it?”

“Jihoonie” Wonpil shows the caller ID and presses the answer button.

“Don’t take it”

“Hold on” Wonpil didn’t bother to listen and takes it anyway but before he could do, Jae has already grabbed the arm that’s holding the phone, pinning Wonpil down to the bed and without hesitation he crashed their lips together with fervor, catching Wonpil in a surprise. Jae brushes his fingers to Wonpil’s arms as it lead to his hands, making the phone fall in the floor, exchanging it with their intertwined fingers. And Wonpil with no complains, shuts his eyes off as he held Jae’s hands tightly to his.

Jae kisses Wonpil in need and hungrily pushes his lips to Wonpil’s mouth, making him open his mouth in force as Jae slips his tongue into him and so Wonpil tilts his head to make the kiss deeper. They kissed until it became sloppier, until all they can hear is just their tongues battling back and forth. Their heavy breathes and their desire for each other.

When Jae finally separates his lips from Wonpil and all is left is their heavy breathing, the locked eyes, the confusion on Wonpil’s face and the frown in Jae’s face.

“Why?” Wonpil asks.

“Don't pick up his calls. Don't drink with him especially, don't let him touch you. I really hate seeing you hanging out with him. Also, don't smile to any other girls. I don't want to hear you saying Sungjin's eyes are pretty"

Jae pauses for a moment, the frown doesn’t fade. Wonpil still stares at him with confusion. Jae then calms down as he drown to the softness in Wonpil’s eyes and finally continue the words he wants to say.

"..is what I have always wanted to tell you. I also hate myself for feeling this way. I hate being jealous and sounding so possessive but I can’t help it. I have always wanted to tell you this but I was scared that if I do, you will feel burden and you will hate this side of me. Do you understand what I mean?"

Wonpil’s just slightly taken aback by the words that Jae is expressing right now because maybe it is something he is expecting as well. He knows how their heart connects so well. They are that considerate of each other but sometimes love and consideration can hurt as well just like how things are turning right now. They know that no matter how they lie that they can be okay this way, sometimes they just can’t. Sometimes you wish that even if it’s not the whole world, you know that you can claim the person you love but sometimes you can’t.

“Hyung..” Wonpil says in a small voice.

“Are you sure you didn’t mean what you said last night? That was not what you truly felt?” In the same position, their hands still intertwined, Jae’s eyes shakes. Pleading for Wonpil to say what he wants to hear.

“Hyung..” is all Wonpil could reply.

“Is that your best answer?” Jae sighs. And this time, Jae is not looking at Wonpil anymore. He sits up back to the bed and Wonpil follows. And their tightly intertwined fingers has swiftly become separated.

Jae looks down to his own hand, still feeling the sensation of Wonpil’s tight hold to his hand.

“It's fine.. I know. We don't have to talk about it anymore. I just want to say I'm sorry for making you cry. I just realized it after we spoke last night that I was being insensitive and incosiderate of you. I got blinded by my own emotions and unintentionally hurt you. I'll be careful in the future."

Jae finally steps out of the room. His emotions are too heavy to control right now. Maybe because his love is too deep, so so deep that the things that doesn’t need to be talked about keeps spilling in his mouth. Maybe because he wants to take those pride away and be honest with love but maybe that doesn’t really work perfectly. Sometimes it takes a lot of willingness to take the pride away and that’s why he’ll wait. He can always wait because it’s Wonpil.

"Where are you going?"

"Convenience. We ran out of snacks. Do you want anything?"

Wonpil shakes his head because he knows that this is Jae’s way to runaway from this atmosphere.

Jae sits cross legged on the couch as he eat some chips. Playing a random variety show on tv that he never watched before.

Wonpil watched Jae’s weary back for awhile from the door of their bedroom as he dry his now curly hair with towel from bath. Changing his clothes into Jae’s gray long sleeves that reaches inches to his knees. Still thinking of the right words to say since Jae left earlier but he really couldn’t find any of them until he thought of what could Jae wants and he realized that all he have to do is give his honest opinion. Because that’s how Jae was like earlier. Though he knows its hard to be completely honest when all his pride keeps eating him, he really wants to say what is in his heart. He wants to try without being afraid. Because he knows nothing can possibly go wrong between them.

Wonpil sits ever so closely to Jae, leaning his head to the older and Jae naturally wraps an arm to him. Eyes doesn’t leave the television.

“Hyung.. that was supposed to be the funniest part” Wonpil says as he points on the TV.

“Huh?”

“I know you can’t focus on the television. I’ve been watching you since earlier”

“How did you know that was funny? It wasn’t funny at all”

“I’ve seen this episode, its a re-run”

“With whom?”

“With..” Wonpil was about to say it when he realized that Jae is still upset with him so he pauses for a second as he peaks at Jae and Jae finally looks at him, assuring him that it’s okay.

“I won’t be mad. Tell me”

“With.. Sungjin.. hyung”

“Okay.. don’t worry. I won’t bite. Also, I didn’t tell you that so you’d stay away from them. I’m not gonna do that to you. I’m not stupid. I was just.. just..”

“Hyung..” Wonpil turns to face Jae properly so he could be in a better position to see his hyung’s face. And Jae pauses to listen to Wonpil instead as he couldn’t find the right words to continue his statement. It’s just frustrating how he always have an excuse and is always good at arguments but not with Wonpil, not in this kind of situation. That even if his pride has to be pushed away, he don’t know why he just wants to express his heart so openly but looking at Wonpil makes him want to be a good person, a great person who Wonpil can always trust.

He still feels the same even after saying the words he wants to let out. He thought it could at least feel him better and make Wonpil understand him even if he said those however, right now. Even if he tries to watch a supposed-to-be-funny-variety-show, regret fills him. Worried that what if Wonpil twisted and misunderstood his words. What if in their uncomfortable atmosphere right now, Wonpil will feel like he is being restricted. What if Wonpil wouldn’t like him anymore because of that. What if Wonpil leaves and decides to just become good friends instead. It’s something that he can’t do. Because he loves Wonpil so much. Too much.. and that’s why the more his heart grows, the more afraid he is.

In Wonpil’s cute and a little bit crossed-eye, the widen sincere look that fills his heart every single day makes his heart flutter but at the same time it breaks him into pieces because he likes them too much.

In the eyes of the person who keeps giving him reason to fall in love in every single moment, he knows Wonpil has something more to say than what his negativity is telling him. He trusts Wonpil more than what his head tells him. That he can make him feel better and fill him once more with value, hope and love.

“Hyung.. I know what you always meant. I’m just pretending that I don’t because no matter how positive you think I am, I can’t help but feel insecure towards you. There’s a lot of people out there who adore you so much and it’s hard to pretend like I don’t see it. It always gives me strange thoughts. That if it’s not me.. if you could love someone else, who can make you feel much better in this society then you wouldn’t have to feel that you are wrong and they are right. And I have always wondered that if it’s not me, who could it be? Who could you love more than me? But just thinking about it, I’m already jealous and it hurts a little bit. I don’t want you to say the words you told me to someone else. I want to be the only person who can hold your hand like the way it sends butterflies in my stomach and kiss you like no one wants you but only me. I want you to be mine only. I am that possessive of you too but just like you, because you always show me how you don’t want to burden others, I‘m also trying hard not to burden you, I don’t want to suffocate you and I don’t want to take advantage of you just because you love me. I want you to be here with me because that’s what makes you happy.“

As the words spills in Wonpil’s mouth, crystals are forming in his eyes, reflecting Jae’s heart and soul to his beautiful eyes. And Jae is finally sure that no matter what happens, Wonpil won’t change. That Wonpil will only want him and love him for a very long time. So Jae reaches out for Wonpil’s hand, squishing it to his as the overwhelming feeling spreads unto his heart, giving him warmth, sending chills to his stomach as if he is falling deeply in love for the first time. As if he is hearing and seeing Wonpil once again for the first time, the only difference is he knows that they are soulmates and that’s why even if everything is first, he can already grasp the hand of the person he loves because he knows for sure that he owns Wonpil and no one can ever have him.

Wonpil responds with a squish to Jae as well, in hopes that Jae will accept and understand what he means. What he don’t know is he doesn’t have to hope for those because Jae already understands what he means.

“...I’m also sorry for what I said earlier. I meant what I said everything last night. I really do. But Hyung.. I cannot brag you to my friends so you do. I can’t be the normal lover whom you can have a normal relationship. You can get tired but you can’t get tired of me. Don’t be cold to me. We only have each other.. so hyung, no matter what happens, you have to believe in me. Because I can do as much and more than that if I have to, so please don’t let me go. And all of this means, I’m gonna be your burden forever, can you take all of that?”

Jae nods with no hesitation. Assuring Wonpil in his embrace that everything he said isn’t something that he needs to worry about because as long as they trust each other, nothing can break them up. So Wonpil hugs him back, as tight as he can, as if it‘s an invisible rope that can make their hearts always beat on the same page.

When Jae separates from the hug and Wonpil is still holding on his waist, clenching his shirt to a fist, Jae cups Wonpil’s small face to his hand making Wonpil feel warm to his heart. A small smile forms from his lips, light tears escaping from the overwhelming feeling inside him and Jae carefully wipes them with his thumb, smiling lightly with sincerity that Wonpil really likes to see.

“As long as you want to stay with me, everything is okay. But Piri, you’ve got to know that you’ve never been a burden for me. You can tell me how you feel. No need to keep it for yourself because I will always try to understand and I know we’ve known each other for more than a decade but I still want to know more about you and your thoughts. Even the weirdest of it. Therefore, you can’t think of someone who can be better and greater than you because you’re already the best person whom I could ask for. From the beginning until today, I still want to thank you. Thank you so much for falling in love with me and I’m always thankful to have fallen in love with you. You gave light to my darkest nights and I’ll forever cherish the words you told me today. I’m entrusting you my heart, it’s yours so it’s up to you how you’ll treat it. I’ll be better for you”

Wonpil nods with a smile forming on his face. Removing Jae’s hands to his cheek so he can reach out to him and place a kiss on the older’s forehead. Jae also did the the same like a silent promise to each other.

———————————————

“Hyung, what women were you talking about?” Wonpil asks, still watching tv and eating chips that Jae likes. While Jae’s hands are wrapped on Wonpil’s small waist as he leans in his head on the younger’s head while Wonpil is also leaning his head on Jae’s shoulder with his arms circling onto Jae’s waist.

“Huh?”

“I mean you said you’re jealous because I smiled on a girl. Don’t tell me it’s the fans, I won’t forgive you”

“No! Of course not. I’m not that petty. It’s different”

“Then who?”

“Can you not ask? It’s a bit..” A flush of red tints follows on Jae’s face. Regretting that he added those words and now Wonpil is curious. Wonpil looks at him when Jae didn’t answer his question.

And Jae sighs upon seeing Wonpil’s face in defeat.

“That girl you smiled on a reality show. The one where you went with our other label mates, y’know with Yubin noona”

“You’re (including the members) not there?”

“You went there without us”

Wonpil then starts to think of any shows that he was invited without the members and he knows there’s only one of it. He thought when it was..

“That? Are you serious? That’s 2018 and we’re still not dating at that time!”

“I know. It’s a long time. I just couldn’t forget it okay? I watched the show cause you were there, I didn’t know I’ll have to see that”

Wonpil chuckles, liking what he just heard. Teasing Jae with his judging eyes. And Jae sighs to himself. Regretting for letting his emotions take over him and now Wonpil is acting weird.. again but then, he did asked for this. He wanted this. What can he even do?

“Aigoo.. our pitiful hyung~ how much do you like me? Huh? Tell me..” Wonpil speaks with a pout in his mouth, like he is talking to an adorable little kid. And Jae sighs once again as he deadpan stares at Wonpil’s reaction.

“How about with Shungjin hyung? Whut did I do with Shungjin hyung?” Wonpil says in the same manner and Jae doesn’t want to respond anymore so he took his hands off from Wonpil and tried to push him away but Wonpil doesn’t let go and decided to put more weight on Jae’s side so Jae can fall, lying on the couch.

“Tell me.. huh? Huh?” Wonpil doesn’t stop bothering Jae.

Jae doesn’t take his boring eyes off Wonpil, whose giggling so much in a teasing mode. And Jae with his working brain, tries to find a method on how he can escape this little kid. Finally he tried to make use of his long legs by pulling it out and swinging it to Wonpil’s body. Making himself fall from the couch but it he doesn’t really care. He quickly moves away and Wonpil disappointingly watch the older get away from him.

“Ahh hyung!! You’re no fun at all”

“Fun? Fun isn’t there.. come here. On the bed!” Jae commands as he walk to their bedroom and Wonpil feels like the atmosphere becoming hotter, maybe because its still noon. And he wants to move but he doesn’t want to either.

“Kim Wonpil, hurry.” Jae shouts from the room before peaking from the door and seeing Wonpil still seated on the couch.

“Do you think I wouldn’t know why you’re wearing my clothes? Come here, hurry” Jae calmly said with a smirk on his face as his index finger moves inwardly inviting Wonpil to the room and his face just keeps on getting hotter and hotter but he walks to the bedroom anyway, where Jae pulls him closely to his and locking the door right away so Wonpil can’t get away from him.

**Author's Note:**

> -I don’t know what to feel with this part. This isn’t supposed to be angst. If you read the first parts, it sounds like it’s about to get hype and I was expecting that I can make some fluff content after writing some sad stories but unfortunately I couldn’t because I watched the glamour friendship thing about Day6 and Wonpil suddenly mentioned pride and burden. It suddenly became the center of my topic and I don’t know how to stay away from it so I decided to let it flow. And it’s really sad.  
-I think this is the most honest of me to the both of them and it really hurts a lot haha, I cried for them. I wish this isn’t so realistic but it is.  
-I’m sorry for being a sad author again but I think its a good thing that I was able to write this as well because I wrote a part that I couldn’t post yet until JaePil’s relationship is very deep and I think they already reach that point by making this part so expect for that two chapter fluff of JaePil goofing around, after 1 or two more parts that I want to write.  
-If you are reading this now, thank you so much for reading this long chapter. I hope it wasn’t a bore. And yes the last part is just an additional part to make the chapter a bit warmer.  
-Fact: The title was supposed to be “Skinship is Common In Our Neighborhood” but because it turned angst so it was cancelled  
-Almost forgot, the last part is in reference of “I Can See Your Voice”  
-Probably a closure of STILL Chapter 5 -Please Don’t Let Me Go, as they both have the same sense  
-Have a lovely day My Days!


End file.
